Bring the Best out of Your Spouse

Pastor Robinson Okello and wife Sarah having fun at the Lakeside.
However, you need to understand that to bring out the best from the people around you or your spouse; it depends on you and not them.
I always tell people that in every human being there is the best and also the worst depending on which button you will press, that is the reason why someone says that a certain person is so good and another person says that the same person is so bad. How can there be two contradicting remarks about one person from two different people. The answer is with the two different people. What you do to a person will determine whether you will get the best or the worst out of them.
That is the reason why you should not always rush into saying someone is bad, ask yourself, what you did that caused that particular person to act the way he or she did.
If you had pressed the wrong button, next time press the right one and you will get the best out of them.
The same applies to our spouse, when you handle your partner the right way, you will get the best out of them
When we had just married people thought that I am an outgoing person and that my wife is reserved, but to me, my wife is so active in talking, she always has a lot of stories and encouraging words to share with me that no one out there can even imagine. And over this time, she has been a great encouragement to me at times when I am down she excites me and lifts me up and always has a beautiful song for every situation; yet in public she is so quiet. The best I do is to listen and allow her talk to me.
To bring out the best from your spouse, the following tips we share here will help you and by God’s grace you will learn more:
1. Allow free expression
There are people who do not allow free expression of feelings, thoughts etc from their spouses. Some men are so tough on their wives to the extent that the woman has nothing to say in all the decision made in the family I have seen women who used to be so brilliant and always had very good ideas to offer become confused after marriage, just because of the harshness of the husband who always barks at her and rubbishes every idea she brings out. The same applies to some men who are not allowed to express themselves by their wives they become dense and confused in the same way.
If you want to get the best out of your wife or husband allow free expression. Let your spouse be free to tell you what he or she feels and likes or dislikes, let your spouse be able to tell you whatever challenges they face whether at work place, with friends, relatives or even the opposite sex. In the long ran, you will see the brilliant ideas that your wife or husband will come up with and you will be amazed.
Don’t shut the information in your spouse by being
-Interruption
· Being judgmental
·Rude
·Claiming to know it all. If you do that, you will miss a great deal of help from them.
2. Appreciate the effort they have made towards the good of the family
Appreciation is a switch that turns someone on to do even more. Yet it is a switch that is rarely used by many
people. It is easy for most people to make negative comments than positive ones. But if you want to get the best out of some one, whether your spouse or workers, learn to appreciate them.
Many people when their spouses or others around them do something good they keep quiet but when they make mistakes that is when they shout at them with condemning tone not even bothering about the embarrassment they are causing them.
When you are appreciating a person to build them up, most especially your spouse or workers do it public or in the presence of their friends and those who matter in their lives. And of cause it has to be the real truth in proportion to what they have done and not exaggerations as some people do. In that way, you will let them know that you acknowledge their efforts but exaggeration will cripple them. So learn to use the word thank you and well done as often as possible in life.
3. Support them in what they are good at
One of the most encouraging things in marriage is for your spouse to know that you support and approve
the things that they are doing. Even if you are a leader, what your staff need to know is that you support
what they always do and their ideas. But if you are always none supportive in what people do, you
kill the vision and the zeal that is in those people. If you are supportive to your spouse
in what they do and the ideas they give, they will be encouraged to do even more and in so doing, you
bring out the best in them without duress.
4. Give your spouse first priority
The order of things in life should be God first, family, ministry, jobs etc. but in today’s world, and the order has changed. Some people put their jobs and other tasks before family and God. Changing that order will definitely mess up every other area of your life. If there was supposed to be peace and joy when you put God first, then family and other things come after, then the reverse is true when you change the order.
If you want to get the best out of your spouse, you should give them priority after God in whatever you do; in your time, planning, budgeting etc.
I would go on and on to share what we should do in order to bring the best out of our spouses but applying the above will never leave your marriage the same.
May God Bless you
Robinson Okello
Resident Pastor VCCM
E –mail:alkzyonia@yahoo.co.uk or robinson@vccmin.org
Tell; +256-782-583869